The Journey Begins

It gave me a feeling that only a mother would know and understand — a connection between my baby and me.


People always say motherhood is one of the most beautiful journeys we can ever partake. For me, I always loved the idea of having children, but before we had our son Cameron, I was never able to picture myself having a baby. It was unimaginable to me the fact that a little human could grow inside my body, and the whole idea of giving birth was just terrifying. How is this tiny human going to come out? What about the pain? I hate needles, can I skip the epidural?

I remember sitting on our apartment floor, staring at the double lines on the pregnancy test. My mind was going through a gazillion thousand thoughts, but yet I couldn’t mumble a single word out! I was excited, nervous, and scared at the same time. My husband and I always knew we wanted to have kids at some point in our lives, so it wasn’t entirely a surprise when we found out we were pregnant. However, that actual moment when you know it is happening is still genuinely nerve-racking. For men, when they first realize they are about to become a father, they are likely to feel excited and nervous considering the life changes coming their way. For us, women is so much more than that. It is not only our lives that will be changing, but our bodies also undergo one of the most significant transformations ever. That part, to me, was terrifying.

Seeing my belly grow month by month was very surreal. I remember my OB telling me that everything inside my body was shifting to make room for our baby. I realized then just how amazing a woman’s body could be. The amount of strength we have and the ability to bring life into this world is truly something empowering. I mean, having a child is no walk in the park!

I know everyone’s experience with pregnancy is different. For me, I can say it was one of the hardest things I had ever endured in my life. I knew from hearing stories and reading everything google had to offer on this subject that it wouldn’t be a comfortable journey. But boy, it was a tough ride. Aside from not being able to hold much food down for a full seven months, sleep was also nonexistent. Adding weight and a massive bump to your body can take most sleeping positions to a whole new level of uncomfortable. My sense of smell also took some getting used to as I was able to catch smells I never even knew existed ( and yes, this went on for a full seven months). By the ninth month, I was practically getting no sleep, walking for me had become a penguin-like waddle, and my nose at that point was one of the same with canines. It was the longest nine months of my life, but there was one thing that made it all worth it. As cliche as it may sound, seeing Cameron grow and feeling his movements in my belly, made anything else seem so insignificant, nothing else mattered. It gave me a feeling that only a mother would know and understand — a connection between my baby and me. Despite having such a tough pregnancy, I could not wait to meet my little guy.

The good news is for those of you who are soon to be mommies; I can tell you that although pregnancy can be quite challenging at times, giving birth turned out to be not as terrifying as I thought. Maybe it was the excitement of meeting my baby and having my body back to normal that helped overcome any nerves and fears I had. At that point, the pain just seemed so irrelevant compared to the outcome at the end of the road. Delivering, meeting, and holding my baby for the first time!